If nobody will hire me, should I turn to crime to pursue a career in programming? I ask because if there's no legal entry-level jobs due to the oversaturation, I might have to go underground for it.

Have you considered military service?

You took those performance reviews to heart, and aimed some of your school curriculum at addressing any areas where your performance was less than stellar, and kept notes, so now you have KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), both where you fell short in each internship,and a list of what you did to address your shortcomings

Because you did not squander your internships, this also means that you have:

In what circumstances might a chaperone be appropriate for a medical examination?

If I’m not willing to hire you for my legitimate business, I sure as heck will not be willing to hire you for my criminal enterprise.

Minimally, this would mean an internship after your first, second, and third years, which is almost a years worth of job experience.

Presumably, you have a 4 year CS degree, and not just some certificates from a certificate mill.

What is the true purpose of the Freemasons? Are they a malevolent group or an organization that performs charitable acts?

One or more letters of recommendation from one or more supervisors in each internship

You asked for a formal performance review equivalent AFTER getting the letters of recommendation

You now have at least a small personal business network, and a network through your academics, within your CS department, which you can leverage to find your first post-graduation job

Most people obey arbitrary rules even when it's not in their interest to do so, experiments show - Phys.org

I suspect that unless your criminal activity involves something other than computers, you will have a hard time finding work as a criminal, as well.

If you don’t have all of these things set up already… why the hell not?!?

You realize any criminal organization you would want to go to work for as an alternative to a legitimate job, will want everything a legitimate job would want, plus some tradecraft, and an ability to not get caught on top of everything else, right?

Why Cutting Carbs Usually Backfires—and What to Do Instead - EatingWell